Editing blog

 I have not had the chance to edit my video for mainly 3 reasons. One because I have been stressed out. Two because my mom has been sick and  have been worried about her and the fact that I could not find an app, and three because I have been testing a lot. I have been focused on school lately. This is one of the main reasons I have been stressed out. School takes up the majority of my time, and I try my hardest to stay involved with things and sustain relationships. But sometimes school gets in the way and it makes me sad. I have been trying to learn how to manage my time wisely so I have enough time for everything and it is equal. But it's not only that, I have also been feeling overwhelmed as of late. I know that high school is a lot of work, and it was expected, but it is just a lot right now. I am getting used to it, and I am going to keep working hard to achieve my goal of getting my Cambridge diploma.\
   The second reason why is because my mom is sick. My moms sickness has really taken over me for the best. It has affected my whole family. She has been sick for a long time now and it is really worrying me. I asked her to help me find a video editing app, but there really was not any good ones to download. I was getting very nervous because I thought I would not be able to find any. And, now the project is due on Monday of next week. I only have three days to edit the music video, and I am getting very nervous about it. What if I don't finish on time? What if I put in all the hard work and still fail? These questions have been roaming in my head for the longest, and I can't seem to get them out. These are bad things to think about it, because it is negative energy, but I can not help it. This is what happens when you have anxiety and over think and stress about everything.
    This week alone I have had about 5 tests. Back to back. And it was not fun, because I would use up all my time studying. And it is so crazy, because I spend so much time studying and working hard, and I fail my tests. That makes me feel like a failure. Like I did not do good enough, and then my grades and self esteem went down. It was a very hard time for me this week to even have the courage to want to get up and go to school. Not because I woke up at 4:45 every morning, but because I feel like everything I do, I am just going to fail at it. Which does have some part in the whole stressed out situation, because this has been on my mind all week long. All in all, tomorrow is a new day, so I am going to try my hardest to edit tomorrow.

Final filming blog

My experience while recording over the break was kind of hectic. For one thing, I had to make time to record and to make food for the holidays, and I did not have much time for both. I wanted to record on Wednesday of last week so I could have it done before the break but that did not happen. I ended up having to record on Saturday of this weekend and a little bit of today because my mom went to a football game with my dad  and her friends. There were days when I wanted to record, and then days that I wanted to rest because of all of the pressure I felt. The days I want to rest, everyone was available to record. And the days I wanted to record, nobody was able to. So I got frustrated...very frustrated.
       On Tuesday, I asked my friend if she wanted to record with me on Wednesday and Thursday, and she said yes. Then when I texted her on Wednesday, she did not answer for hours. But when she did answer, her answer was no. So, I asked her if she could come to the park and record there, but her mom still said no. Fast forward, I was at lost because I had nobody else to record my video with, and therefor I had a mental breakdown. Then, by some miracle, I asked my mom on thanksgiving if she would be willing to record with me, and she said yes. The excitement I felt was amazing and I was so ready to get started.
      When Friday came around, my mom began to feel a little worried. Not because I was not going to be able to get my video done, but because my mom was sick and she has not been feeling well all week. So we did not record Friday, because I told her to rest. Then Saturday came around, and she sill was not feeling her best but she decided to start recording with me. And we got about 45 seconds done because she began to feel pain again. Luckily, she washed her clothes last weekend so we could begin where we left off which was in my room. I was originally going to record outside or at a park, but my mom was not up to it, and I felt more safe with her inside in case anything happens. But other than that, the video shooting went great today and I am proud of us. And that's it for this project, I guess you will see the finish product later. Until next time...