Editing blog

 I have not had the chance to edit my video for mainly 3 reasons. One because I have been stressed out. Two because my mom has been sick and  have been worried about her and the fact that I could not find an app, and three because I have been testing a lot. I have been focused on school lately. This is one of the main reasons I have been stressed out. School takes up the majority of my time, and I try my hardest to stay involved with things and sustain relationships. But sometimes school gets in the way and it makes me sad. I have been trying to learn how to manage my time wisely so I have enough time for everything and it is equal. But it's not only that, I have also been feeling overwhelmed as of late. I know that high school is a lot of work, and it was expected, but it is just a lot right now. I am getting used to it, and I am going to keep working hard to achieve my goal of getting my Cambridge diploma.\
   The second reason why is because my mom is sick. My moms sickness has really taken over me for the best. It has affected my whole family. She has been sick for a long time now and it is really worrying me. I asked her to help me find a video editing app, but there really was not any good ones to download. I was getting very nervous because I thought I would not be able to find any. And, now the project is due on Monday of next week. I only have three days to edit the music video, and I am getting very nervous about it. What if I don't finish on time? What if I put in all the hard work and still fail? These questions have been roaming in my head for the longest, and I can't seem to get them out. These are bad things to think about it, because it is negative energy, but I can not help it. This is what happens when you have anxiety and over think and stress about everything.
    This week alone I have had about 5 tests. Back to back. And it was not fun, because I would use up all my time studying. And it is so crazy, because I spend so much time studying and working hard, and I fail my tests. That makes me feel like a failure. Like I did not do good enough, and then my grades and self esteem went down. It was a very hard time for me this week to even have the courage to want to get up and go to school. Not because I woke up at 4:45 every morning, but because I feel like everything I do, I am just going to fail at it. Which does have some part in the whole stressed out situation, because this has been on my mind all week long. All in all, tomorrow is a new day, so I am going to try my hardest to edit tomorrow.